Target: The Store You Hate to Love

You realize you’re getting low on toilet paper and then the stirrings start. Your heart beats a little faster as the thought hits you, “I get to go to Target!” Target is the epitome of the “one-stop shop.” You can get practically anything at a Target, and there in lies the problem. You and I both know that you will not leave Target with just toilet paper. You’ll try to be strong but the moment you walk through those smooth welcoming doors it happens. Target begins the seduction.

“Hey, baby. Glad to see you came back.”
“Look, Target. I’m only here for toilet paper.”
“Sure you are. Did you see I have a Starbucks café inside me now? That’s right. I know what you like.”
“Stop it, Target.”
“Stop what? I’m just trying to make you feel good.”
“I know what you’re trying to do. I’m just here for toilet paper.”
“Did you see the low, low prices in my home improvement section?”
“Well, it is on the way to the toilet paper.”
“That’s right, baby. Explore for a while.”

The next thing you know you’re walking out of the store with a toaster oven, a pair of fuzzy slippers, and a futon. Oh, and you have forgotten the toilet paper.

“Target, you did it to me again! That’s it. I’m not coming back here for at least a month…or until I need a prescription…or the next time I’m bored. Oh Target, I can’t stay mad at you. See you tomorrow.”

Running a Mara...

How did this happen? How was I convinced to register for a half marathon? Even better, how did I get talked into PAYING to run 13.1 miles. I don't run. I don't exactly have what one would call a "runner's body." I mean, how many people do you know who say, "Well time for my run. I guess I'll strap on a couple of bras and get going!" Why do people run anyway? There have got to be more pleasurable ways to exercise. I hear aqua aerobics is making a comeback.

So I have started training. Will I endure or will I pray for the sweet release of death? Only time will tell.